Hey man, I’m here with a late review! I just know you’ve been on pins and needles waiting for it.
Another great chapter though! You had a lot of new characters to handle in this one with Garotte, Sid, Wolf, and Rask but you did a great job introducing them and setting up some of their roles. You might actually have done a little too thorough of a job displaying Wolf’s nastiness and I think Clint’s crotch would agree haha. It’s a given in your writing but I really loved all the banter between the characters and Bobbi had some great lines towards Wolf and I thought it was especially funny to see that he didn’t have the wits to match her haha. It’s too bad Garotte had to interrupt the beating Bobbi was about to give him.
But speaking of Garotte, you did a really good job introducing him and you right away let the reader know he’s a very alpha male type of leader. You throw in little hints showing how much he’s trying to control the situation and it was really fun to see Clint and Bobbi push back and not let him have complete control. The back and forth dialogue and tension between them was really well done. Garotte seems straightforward so far but you still get the feeling that something’s fishy about him and Water’s End. Well, something fishy besides the fish.
I thought you wrote Sid’s introduction really well too and it helped break the tension at the dinner table. Her shyness and timidness was a foil to Clint’s standoff-ish attitude which I thought was a little funny haha. I also thought she helped knock down Garotte’s toughness a couple pegs too. You don’t imagine him being the type to have this really awkward teenage daughter and you kind of see his attitude slightly change after she arrived.
Oh and one last thing I wanted to touch on was Bobbi's awesome handcuff breaking skills haha. I really liked that scene and how it shows Bobbi's recourcefulness and knowledge of spy tricks. And you did a great job describing what she was doing with the shoelace and how it all worked. That just seems like something that's a pain in a butt to describe with words haha.
But anyways, can’t wait for the next chapter and for Clint and Bobbi to explore more of Water's End!
Thanks for the giant review, man! Now I can finally get some restful sleep, haha.
Haha, Clint will not have been feeling great after that little encounter. Bobbi will just have to kiss it and make it better. The banter is a lot of fun, though I always try not to over do it too much and give everyone their own little style. Wolf's style might be good for trash talking video games, but he's gonna be outta luck against a couple of experts.
Yeah, Garotte is none too happy about dealing with Clint and Bobbi fighting against his authority, though he also respects it. At least, the way that's Bobbi going about it. Clint's a bit too hotheaded for Garotte's liking.
A lot more of Sid's personality will shine through in the next chapter and she'll be a lot less timid since she'll be out from Garotte's scowl for a bit. They definitely have the whole awkward Dad-teen daughter relationship.
I'm glad ya liked that! I did quite a bit of research on the different ways to break handcuffs (I'm sure I'm on some watch lists now if I wasn't already, haha) and I thought the shoelace technique fit what I wanted the best. It's subtle enough that Wolf might not notice it at first, fast, and a lot more efficient than just trying to rely on pure muscle to break the plastic. It's also pretty simple in that ya don't need anything special to do it, just a shoelace, something that they could easily have on them.
Thanks again for the review, man!