36 Replies Latest reply: Aug 28, 2013 12:50 PM by SnakeDoctor61 RSS

    EviL EsKiMo's Glorious Thread Returns!

      Oh, oo-o-oh, come on, ooh, yeah

      Well I tried to tell you so (yes, I did)

      But I guess you didn't know, as I said the story goes

      Grass, now I got the flow

      'Cos I knew it from the start

      Grass, when you broke my legs

      That I had to come again, and show you that I'm real

       

      (You killed me good) all those times I said that I kill you

      (You killed me good) yes, I tried, yes, I tried

      (You killed me good) even though you know I'd die from you

      (You killed me good) yes, I cried, yes, I cried

       

      1-(Return of the Grass) it is

      (Return of the Grass) come on

      (Return of the Grass) oh my God

      (You know that It'll be back) here It is

      (Return of the Grass) once again

      (Return of the Grass) pump up the world

      (Return of the Grass) watch it flow

      (You know that It'll be back) here It goes

       

      So I'm back up in the game

      Running things to keep my swing

      Letting all the people know

      That It's back to run the show

      'Cos what It did, you know, was wrong

      And all the nasty things It's done

      So, Grass listen carefully

      While I sing my throw-back song

       

      (You killed me good) 'cos it said It'd never turn on me

      (You killed me good) but It did, but It do

      (You killed me good) all these pains It said I'd never feel

      (You killed me good) but I do, but I do, do, do

       

      2-(Return of the Grass) here it is

      (Return of the Grass) hold on

      (Return of the Grass) don't you know

      (You know that It'll be back) here It goes

      (Return of the Grass) oh little noob

      (Return of the Grass) wants my M16

      (Return of the Grass) up and down

      (You know that It'll be back) round and round

      (rpt 2, 1)

       

      (You know that It'll be back) don't you know

       

      (Return of the Grass) here it is

      (Return of the Grass) hold on

      (Return of the Grass) be strong

      (You know that It'll be back) here It goes

      (Return of the Grass) my little noob

      (Return of the Grass) wants my M16

      (Return of the Grass) up and down

      (You know that It'll be back) round and round

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________

       

       

      The Grass, the Grass, the Grass is on fire

      The Grass, the Grass, the Grass is on fire

      We don't need no water, let the motherfuhker burn

      Burn motherfuhker, burn! [3x]

       

      Burn burn burn, motherfuhker! [3x]

      Burn motherfuhker, burn!

       

      The Grass, the Grass, the Grass is on fire

       

      Motherfuhk-fuhk!

       

      The Grass is on fire!

       

      Burn motherfuhker, burn!

       

      The Grass, the Grass, the Grass is on fire

      The Grass, the Grass, the Grass is on fire

      We don't need no water, let the motherfuhker burn

      Burn motherfuhker, burn! [3x]

       

      The Grass is on fire!

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________

       

       

      I can see clearly now, the grass is gone,

      I can see all obstacles in my lawn

      Gone are the dark blades that had me blind

      It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

      Sun-Shiny day.

       

      I think I can make it now, the grass is gone

      All of the bad clippings have disappeared

      Here is the Taco I've been praying for

      It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

      Sun-Shiny day.

       

      Look all around, there's nothing but bare ground

      Look straight ahead, nothing but bare ground

       

      I can see clearly now, the grass is gone,

      I can see all obstacles in my lawn

      Gone are the dark blades that had me blind

      It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

      Sun-Shiny day.

       

       

      dedicated to Snakedocter

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________

       

       

      Everybody was Taco Eating

      Those teeth were fast as lightning

      In fact, it was a little bit frightening

      But they ate with expert timing

       

      There where funky GRaS men from funky OT Town

      They were chopping them up

      They were chopping them down

      It's an ancient GRaSser art

      And everybody knew their part

      From a faint into a slip

      And a kickin' from the hip

      Everybody was Taco Eating

      Those teeth were fast as lightning

      In fact it was a little bit frightening

      But they ate with expert timing

       

      There was funky Ragius King and little SoylentBob

      He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on

      We took the bow and made a stand

      Started eating with the hand

      The sudden motion made me skip

      Now we're into a brand new trip

       

      Everybody was Taco Eating

      Those teeth were fast as lightning

      In fact it was a little bit frightening

      But they did it with expert timing

       

      (pause)

       

      keep on, keep on, keep on

      Sure enough

      Everybody was Taco Eating

      Those teeth were fast as lightning

      In fact it was a little bit frightening

      Make sure you have expert timing

      Taco Eating, has to be fast as lightning...

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________

       

       

      We're no strangers to Grass

      You know the rules and so do I

      A full magazine's what I'm thinking of

      You wouldn't get this from any other guy

       

      I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

      Gotta make you understand

       

      Always gonna shoot you up

      Always gonna put you down

      Always gonna run around and knife you

      Always gonna make you die

      Always gonna say goodbye

      Always gonna tell a lie and burn you

       

      We've known each other for so long

      Your legs been aching

      But you're too dead to say it

      Inside we both know what's been going on

      We know the game and we're gonna play it

       

      And if you ask me how I'm feeling

      Don't tell me you're too blind to see

       

      Always gonna shoot you up

      Always gonna put you down

      Always gonna run around and knife you

      Always gonna make you die

      Always gonna say goodbye

      Always gonna tell a lie and burn you

       

      Repeat Chorus

       

      Shoot you up, shoot you up

      Shoot you up, shoot you up

      Always gonna shoot,

      Always gonna shoot, shoot you up

      Always gonna shoot,

      Always gonna shoot, shoot you up

       

      Last four lines repeated

       

      I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

      Gotta make you understand

       

      You've been EviL Roll'd

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ __________

       

       

      EviL is on the prowl

      Looking for a kill

      Just throw in the towel

      Or your blood is going to spill

      Lying on the ground

      Body parts everywhere

      Dead without a sound

      And we don't even care

      People flee from us

      Animals cower in fear

      EviL is notorious

      For drinking, shooting beer

      PETA has a warrant

      But they can suck it

      Rhymes flood like a torrent

      Grab a kitteh and chuck it

      Soybob is a genius

      Snake is so old

      Reaper is an extremist

      The snubbed dude is bold

      This is our crew

      The ever present GraS clan

      Our flames got you wondering what to do

      Oops we just got another ban

      Ragius is the leader

      Who created the EPIC Grass Thread

      Jinx plays with a weeder

      While JS lies on another bed

      There are many more of us

      That we haven't mentioned

      This thread is just glorious

      And EviL is just demented

      Here we end this little ditty

      Leave you wanting more

      This thing wasn't at all pretty

      But at least it was filled with gore

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ _________________

       

       

      Now this is a story all about how

      our life got flipped-turned upside down

      And we'd like to take a minute just sit right there

      And tell you how we became the EviLs of the Off Topic Lair

       

      [verse 2]

      In west Alaska born and raised

      On the tundra is where we spent most of our days

      Going out huntin, shootin all the fools

      And out killing some seals outside of the "pool";

      When a couple of guys who were from PETA

      Started making trouble thinkin they were betta'

      we got in one lil fight and everyone got scared

      And said "You're moving in with EviL, and EviL over there"

      we begged and pleaded with them everyday

      But they packed our bikinis and sent us on our way

      they gave us a kitteh and then gave us our ticket

      we put our suits on and said we might as well kick it

      [verse 3]

      First thread yo this is bad

      Drinking seal blood out of a champagne glass

      Is this what the people of Off-Topic living like?

      Hmm this might be alright

      But wait we hear flames, name-calling and all that

      Is this the type of place they should send this cool cat

      we don't think, we'll see when we get there

      we hope they're prepared for the EviLs of Alaska to come near

      [verse 4]

      Well ah the plane landed and when we came out

      There was a dude that looked like a cop standing there with our name

      out

      we're not trying to get arrested yet, we just got here

      we sprang with the quickness like lightning disappeared

      we whistled for a cab and when it came near

      The license plate said TROLL and it had heads in the mirror

      If anything we can say this cab was rare

      But thought naw forget it yo homes to the Off-Topic Lair!

       

      [verse 5]

      we pulled up to the mansion about 6 or 7

      And I yelled to the cabby "Yo this place looks like heaven!"

      we looked at our kingdom we were finally there

      To sit on our throne as EviL of the Off-Topic Lair

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ______________

       

       

      Sprinkle, Sprinkle, on a Taco

      Some ingredient, what is it?

      Is it thyme, is it choco?

      Doesn't matter you'll eat it

       

      Sprinkle, Sprinkle-

       

      SnakeDoc yells at EsKiMo to get off his lawn

       

      stupid old man and his stupid old lawn

       

      AREN'T YOU SENILE YET!?

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ __________________

       

       

      Every body stops

      And stares at me

      These two tacos are

      Gone as you can see

      I don't know just who

      To blame for this catastrophe!

      But my one wish on Christmas Eve

      Is as plain as it can be!

       

      All I want for Christmas

      Is my two tacos,

      My two tacos,

      See my two tacos!

       

      Gee, if I could only

      Have my two tacos,

      Then I could with you

      "Merry Christmas."

      It seems so long since I could say,

      "Gee these tacos are so delicious!"

       

      Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,

      If I could only taco (thhhh)

       

      All I want for Christmas

      Is my two tacos,

      My two tacos,

      See my two tacos.

      Gee, if I could only

      Have my two tacos,

      Then I could wish you

      "Merry Christmas!"

       

      reposted to this thread for it is glorious

       

      exactly, it belongs in the Glorious Thread of EviL!

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ _____________________

       

       

      we're dreaming of a bloody Christmas

      Just like the ones we always show

      Where the treetops glisten,

      and people listen

      To hear kitteh yowls in the snow

       

      we're dreaming of a bloody Christmas

      With every Christmas card we write

      May your days be scary and blight

      And may all your Christmases be plight

       

      we're dreaming of a bloody Christmas

      With every Christmas card we write

      May your days be scary and blight

      And may all your Christmases be plight

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________

       

       

      Release a cannon shot

      Release a cannon shot

      Properly kill all kittehs dead

       

      Release a cannon shot

      Release a cannon shot

      Release a cannon shot

      Properly kill all kittehs dead

       

      we wanna wish you a bloody Christmas

      we wanna wish you a bloody Christmas

      we wanna wish you a bloody Christmas

      From the cannon on our ship

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ _____

       

       

      We have the cannon

      No one wants to fight

      Noobs cry "BAN'EM!"

      No one has the right

      Cause we take no shit

      We accept no lies

      We don't get hit

      Everyone dies

      We are EviL, we are many

      We shoot kittehs, beer

      We shoot our enemies

      There's nothing we fear

      If you try to run or hide

      Our cannon will find

      Those that anger us

      Those that try to blind

      Cause we're dangerous

      And EviL never misses

      EviL loads like a demon

      Last thing you hear are hisses

      Everyone is screamin

      Blood is everywhere

      Maggots crawling around

      Shots come out of nowhere

      And you're dead in the ground

      We are EviL, we are many

      We shoot kittehs, beer

      We shoot our enemies

      There's nothing we fear

      Looking trying to find

      You won't see it

      It will blow your mind

      And you won't believe it

      PETA tries to stop us

      But they won't succeed

      Cause we're ludicrous

      We make everything bleed

      EviL wears a fur-lined bikini

      Running laughing hysterically

      Even drinks a blood martini

      Posing threads so lyrically

      It's so fresh this you can see

      EviL is the one everyone wants to be

       

       

      song is unfinished

       

      its an original by EviL, not a parody of any song by anyone

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________

       

       

      Kill Kill Noobies

      Kill Kill Noobies

      All right stop calibrate this invention

      EviL is back with a brand new submission

      Something shoots at you quickly

      Fast like a kitteh speedy and prickly

      Will it ever stop yo we don't know

      Turn off the lights and you know

      To the extreme we shoot like a criminal

      all we know is the damage won't be minimal

      Panic run as you hear the cannon boom

      we're killing animals bringing their doom

      Deadly when we get moody and angry

      Anything less no one will ever see

      Love it or leave it you better hope and pray

      You better hit bull's eye EviL don't play

      If there was a problem yo we'll solve it

      Check out the spear while EviL reveals it

       

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

       

      Now that the people are panicking

      Run from the cannon, the EviLs are drinking

      Quick to shoot, the cannon always loading

      Shooting kittehs like a man always gloating

      Shootin' 'em if you aren't quick and limber

      we go crazy when we hear a whimper

      And a loud splat from a kitteh ejected

      we're on a roll, it's time to get wasted

      Rollin' in our 5.0

      With the rag top down so our hair can blow

      The trawlers on standby, Waving just to say DIE!

      Did you stop? No -- we just drove by

      Kept on pursuing the next victim

      we busted a left and we're heading through the system

      The place was destroyed

      Yo so we continued to 101 Black Ops Forum

      EviL is hot wearing a fur-lined bikini

      SoyentBob sipping on a martini

      Satisfied, cause he just proved a flaw

      Snake with a gauge and Reaper with a java

      Flaming the noobs on the site

      The noobs acting ill because their threads are never right

      ******** comes out like a turd

      we grabbed the cannon heard the noobs get stirred

      Running away from us real fast

      Jumped in the boat slammed on the gas

      Topic to topic the forum is packed

      we're trying to get away before the mod gets back

      Admins on the scene you know what we mean

      They passed us up confronted all the noob fiends

      If there was a problem yo we'll solve it

      Check out the spear while EviL reveals it

       

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

       

      Take heed 'cause we're a bloody lunatic

      Krawl's on the scene just in case you didn't know it

      Our crew that created the GRaS clan

      Always around taking it to the man

      'Cause our style's like a chemical spill

      Awesome threads that you can read and feel

      Conducted and formed

      This is a hell of a concept

      We make it hype and you want to step with this

      Snake stays on the lawn old like a dinosaur

      ages so fast other old men say damn

      If our rhyme was a drug we'd sell it by the gram

      Keep our composure when it's time to get loose

      Magnetized by the blood while we slip a noose

      If there was a problem yo we'll solve it

      Check out the spear while EviL reveals it

       

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

      EviL, Kill Kill Noobies, EviL, Kill Kill Noobies

       

      Hey Jinx let's get out of here, word to your sister

       

      Kill Kill Noobies Too Cold Kill Kill Noobies Too Cold

      Kill Kill Noobies Too Cold, Too Cold, Kill Kill Noobies Too Cold

       

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________________

       

       

      It's a little past supper time

      we're still out on the front porch

      Sittin on our behind, waiting for it

      Wondering if everything was put on

      Snake said come in men don't waste your time

      we said we got time he'll be here soon

      we were five years old and talkin to ourselves

      Where were you? Where'd ya go?

      Ragius can't you tell?

      we're not tryin to fake it

      And we ain't the one to blame

      No there's no one online

      In the lawn of pain

      Weren't we worth the time

      A troll needs a leader like dance to mime

      And all the time we looked up to you

      we trolled the forum a million times

      And all we ever got was a lot of big fish

      The same old lie

      How could you?

       

      we were eighteen and still talking to ourself

      Where were you? Where'd you go?

      Ragius can't ya tell?

      we're not tryin to fake it

      And we ain't the one to blame

      No there's no one online

      In the lawn of pain

      we're not tryin to fake it

      And we ain't the one to blame

      No there's no one online

      In the lawn of pain

      we didn't write these pages

      And our post's been rearranged

      No there's no one online

      In our lawn of pain

      If we learned anything from this

      It's how to eat a taco!

       

      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------

       

      It's the inevitable return of the EviL ones

      coming right in your face with another song

      you can't leave until we're done

      think you can ignore us?  we're here to say your wrong!

       

      we're everywhere and there is no escape

      there is no place that you can hide

      our hits and rhymes no one can take

      as we take your minds for a ride

       

      yes we'll show you the moon landings not real

      and some country around is just a fake

      with all of this you can't even deal

      your whole mind and body is going to shake

       

      people try to fight us but they always lose

      their arguments never proven right

      with us you should always choose

      or you will have a fight

       

      there's SoyBob, snake and voidy too

      Reaper, Ragius, MaTtKs, and Picture

      There's many more to our crew

      but it would just turn into a lecture

       

      the rest of you just have to remember this

      you can't fuhk with the GRaS

      every try you're just going to miss

      cause if you do, that'll be your ass!

      _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________

       

      This song has been written by Reaper, Evil, MajorRod and Eskimo. We would also like to thank Horrorman for his support during the making. (Scroll to the bottom to get the full song)

       

      On the first day of Christmas this Forum gave to me, An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat.

       

      On the second day of christmas this forum gave to me, two noobs a crying and an Eskimo with a bag of seal meat.

       

      On the third day of christmas this forum gave to me, 3 wasted moments, two noobs a crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the fourth day of christmas this forum gave to me, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the fifth day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the sixth day of christmas this forum gave to me, 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the seventh day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat.

       

      On the eighth day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 8 ghillies a hiding, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat.

       

      On the ninth day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 9 Stewy screen names, 8 ghillies a hiding, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the tenth day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 10 MW2 threads, 9 Stewy screen names, 8 ghillies a hiding, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the eleventh day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 11 tacos eaten, 10 MW2 threads, 9 Stewy screen names, 8 ghillies a hiding, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

      On the twelfth day of Christmas this forum gave to me, 12 beers a flowing, 11 tacos eaten, 10 MW2 threads, 9 Stewy screen names, 8 ghillies a hiding, 7 kittehz a meowing , 6 fur-lined bikinis, 5 EPIC FAILZ!, 4 seals clapping, 3 wasted moments, two noobs crying and An Eskimo with a bag of seal meat

       

       

      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------

      New addition to thread thanks to SnakeDoctor.

       

       

      T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the land

      No creatures were stirring, not even - Gras Clan.

      The threads were posted in Off Topic with care,

      In hopes that noobs, soon would post there.

       

      The Gras Clan were nestled all snug in their bunks,

      With visions of Jinx's Sister and junk in her trunk.

      Evil at the Beer cannon, and Reaper in chaps,

      Had just tried to post pics, of LOLZ cats.

       

      When out on the trawler there arose such a clatter,

      I sprang from the bunk to see what was the matter.

      Away to the porthole I flew like a fish,

      Tore open the shutters and puked in a dish.

       

      Cheap beer and ham sandwiches on the deck below

      upchucking and flaming from the forums' best trolls.

      There on the ocean on waves in a row

      sailed a miniature trawler, and eight tiny trolls.

       

      With a little old driver, as bald as a rock,

      I knew in a moment it must be Snake Doc.

      More rapid than fish his minions they came,

      And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

       

      "Now Sixer! now, Reaper! now, Jinx and Void!

      On, Evil! On, Evil! on, Jinx's Sis and SoyBob!

      To the top of the forum! to the top of the wall!

      Now flame away! Flame away! Flame away all!"

       

      He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old troll,

      And I laughed when I saw him, there goes my sole!

      A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

      Soon gave me to know he had hijacked this thread.

       

      He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

      He flamed all the noobs' called them a jerk.

      Jinx running, without any clothes,*

      gave us the finger, up the smoke stack he rose!

       

      Snake sprang to his trawler, to his team gave a beer,

      And away they all flew with nothing to fear.

      But I heard him exclaim, as they flamed through the night,

      "Happy flaming to all, and to all a good-night!"

       

      -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay away

      Don't you know the grass came back

       

      we like it so much better when it's down on its roots

      Cause when it's in our face that's when we're starting to see

      That all our friends are laughing thinking that we belong

      Well it's so fuhking stupid that its growing long

       

      The trouble with grass is they're all the same

      Forget the diamonds and pearls they just want to grow

      Before you know it you're like a dog on a leash

      Well you can try and change the world but you won't change me

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay away

      Don't you know the grass came back

       

      There it goes again just always breaking our balls

      No matter what we do somehow its always our fault

      it says we must be cheating cause we turned off our game

      But that's the only frickin way it'll leave us alone

       

      The trouble with grass is its never enough

      Love to complain and it never dries up

      Like to tell you the way it ought to be

       

      Go on and tell the world just don't tell us

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay away

      Don't you know the grass came back

       

      It ain't a joke when we say we wanna burn it out

      (we really mean it) (we really mean it)

      Well look who's laughing now

      The grass came, the grass came back

      The grass came, the grass came back

      The grass came, the grass came back

      it just wouldn't stay away

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay the fuhk away

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay away

      Don't you know the grass came back

       

      The grass came back the very next game

      Oh the grass came back thought it was a goner

      But the grass came back it wouldn't stay away

      Don't you know the grass came back

       

      as requested by craftyshot